14 Feb 2019
Bali Retreats: 10 Daily Reminders for Building Self Esteem
Bad days can be extremely overpowering. When we’re having a bad day, everything feels wrong and with the smallest thing changing – suddenly the spiral down into despair seems inevitable. Sometimes it can feel like the rut will never end and you’ll always be unhappy.
Other days it seems like a daily challenge to keep from falling into a negative mood. It’s like you’ve “woken up on the wrong side of the bed,” and the bad day was always going to happen.
So how to get rid of a bad mood? How to stop it before it starts?
The answer is simple, but takes practice, the key is the (re)building of self-esteem.
The best way to start this is with the morning, as the way you approach the morning is vital. It’s the foundation from which the day is built. And that’s why we have to be mindful of how we speak to ourselves when we first wake up. What we tell ourselves first thing is a big part of what we hear for the rest of the day, and this ensures you don’t get up on the wrong side.
Positive morning reminders are honestly one of the simplest and most powerful tools for mental growth.
It’s all about keeping the right thoughts top of mind from the get-go every day, so that they’re readily available on those hard days when you need them most. It may mean sitting down quietly every morning after (or before) breakfast and reflecting on precisely what you need to remember. You may think of them as quotes, affirmations, prayers, mantras, convictions, but in any case these positive morning gratitudes keep peaceful, productive thoughts and perspectives top of mind. We practice these on our Bali Surf Retreat to start the day positive and therefore have a great day out surfing.
So here are our 10 morning reminders direct from Surf Goddess Retreats for self esteem building and positive mental growth.
1. Do not lose sight of what truly matters.
Sometimes all you need is a little perspective shift.
Does that clogged sink signify the end of the world? Maybe it’s the toothpaste being all blocked up that makes you go “errgh!”
Whatever it is, when you’re having a bad day, it seems 10x worse! If these small things – messy cupboard, can’t find keys etc keep getting you down, it may be time to start a frustrate list! – Don’t know what that is? Find out here.
But next time you’re pulling your hair out over something, ask yourself if it really matters. – It sounds horrible, but ask yourself this: “if I had two weeks to live would I still be annoyed? Would it still matter?” We aren’t saying to ignore the small things, but keep perspective and check your reactions. After all, you are in control of how they make you feel.
2. It is okay to be alone or pull back from the world.
Sometimes we just need to step back and re-evaluate a situation, a relationship, or just life in general. This is a healing period, and is extremely important, even for the extroverts! Spending time alone helps you become your own best friend again. If you need to go into hiding and work on stitching yourself back up, take the time to do that. It is so important to spend quality time with yourself every now and then. Run a bath (like our restorative spa bath here) or read a book on the couch. Basically practice JOMO (Joy Of Missing Out) and make the time you spend with yourself one of self-love and respect.
3. You are not always in control.
You cannot predict when certain things will or should happen, or how everything will turn out, so there is no point on stressing yourself about them. Ask yourself “Is this situation, something I can control? If no, then it’s time to take a deep breath and remain calm. Like being on an airplane, you have to submit if your going to move forward on your journey. You just have to stop pushing (and using up precious energy) let go and realise that sometimes the best action you can take is – surrendering and letting the universe sort it all out.
4. What other people think is irrelevant.
They aren’t you, living YOUR life. When all is said and done, you have to look after yourself, physically and mentally. Don’t be a slave to the opinions of others, otherwise you end up trying so hard to please everyone but yourself – and exhaustion quickly follows this! If you are criticised, don’t let your immediate reaction be to change whatever it is you’re being criticized for. Take it on board, but do whatever feels right to you, regardless of what other people have to say about it.
5. Don’t give up.
If you have a goal, a passion, an end result, a dream, anything that you are fighting for, do not stop fighting if you should happen to fall short. Remember why you are putting the energy in, it means a lot to you! Write it on your fridge, write it in the notes section and save it as your background on your phone, write it in the toilet. Don’t forget what you’re working towards, and remember a setback is never a failure.
6. You don’t have to know all the answers.
No one ever has life all figured out. We are always learning and growing, and that’s kind of the point. Life itself is a mystery and it’s okay to feel clueless sometimes. Whatever you feel lost about, a good trick is to write it down and meditate on it. If its a choice, deep down you know the answer, you just need to sift through what your ego is telling you to do, and figure out what truly aligns with you. If it’s something beyond your control – refer to number 3.
7. You are enough.
All of us have had times in our lives where we have thought, “I’m a fraud. I’m not smart enough or pretty enough or strong enough or exciting enough to do _____.” This is your imposter talking. If you let these thoughts win, you are not being true to yourself. Play a game with yourself, every time a negative or judgmental though enters your mind, think of three positive ones. Write them down if you need to. But get into the habit of rebutting the negativity with positivity.
8. Stay present.
Try not to dwell on the past or worry about the future. One idea to stay in the present is to set a silent alarm on your phone, watch or fitbit. When this goes off, come back to yourself, be present, acknowledge what you are doing, how you are feeling, and for a moment be at peace within yourself.
Another way to practice mindfulness and staying in the present is with our mindfulness meditation blog here.
9. Your feelings will not kill you.
Heartbreak, grief, depression, or resentment can be all consuming and feel like loving death, but you have the strength to get through whatever life throws at you. When you think about it, you’re already a winner in the greatest race of all. Your ancestors survived countless struggles of an old world we couldn’t imagine. They survived, and here you are. You’ve come from winners, you’re born a winner. You are stronger than your thoughts and feelings, don’t let them control you. Hold on and see yourself through it.
10. You are human.
This is probably the biggest reminder of them all. You will make mindless mistakes. You will hurt other people and other people will hurt you. You won’t always feel happy and positive. Next time you feel the urge to beat yourself up over any of these things, remind yourself that you human, and are doing your best. Learn and reflect from your mistakes, but don’t be held back by them.
Want some help making your own Daily reminders? click here to set some life changing intentions.
OR is it time for a time out to reevaluate your life and cultative some self-love? Click here for Specials on our Goddess Retreats in Bali